


footsteps lined up with no future

by thunderylee



Series: love february 2021 [18]
Category: NEWS (Japan Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, IN SPACE!, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Apocalypse, Sorry Not Sorry, Spaceships, this is really fucking sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Ever since he was a tiny child, Koyama has wanted to explore the stars.
Relationships: Kato Shigeaki/Koyama Keiichiro
Series: love february 2021 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138346
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	footsteps lined up with no future

**Author's Note:**

> love february day 28: last time! title from koyama's solo starry, tho like most song lyrics it sounds better in japanese: 未来のない２人の足跡悲しく並べたように

Ever since he was a tiny child, Koyama has wanted to explore the stars. He was lucky enough to be born during a time when humans had already conquered space travel and were in the beginning stages of setting up colonies on asteroids and moons.

Good thing, too, because Earth is on her last leg. It’s projected that she’ll start burning up within the next fifty years, becoming an inhabitable planet of runaway greenhouse gases like Venus. Most of its citizens have already relocated to one of the many space stations littering the inner planetary area, but there’s not enough room for everybody yet.

Like most migrations since the beginning of humanity, only the rich and useful were permitted to go first. Koyama wasn’t an engineer or a geologist, nor did he have nearly enough money to buy his way in. Now that he’s approaching his thirty-seventh birthday, he’s accepted his fate to live out the rest of his life on this dying planet.

That’s not as depressing as it sounds. While his generation has been discouraged from procreating since there won’t be a world left for their children to inherit, Koyama himself will be able to live a long, satisfying life before it gets to that point. Besides, there’s still hope that the new colonies will be ready in time for regular people like him to be allowed to go.

It’s just as well, because Shige has no interest in venturing out into the wide expanse of space. Koyama and Shige have been together since the first space station opened its airlocks, childhood friends turned lovers to whatever they are now. Lifelong companions? Reluctant comrades facing the end of the world together? However you want to put it, Koyama doesn’t actually know a life without Shige in it, and truth be told he would rather burn up on this planet than spend the rest of their lives apart.

That doesn’t stop him from secretly hoping Shige will change his mind if the interplanetary government decides they’re worthy of continuing their bloodlines. Science has made it possible for _anyone_ to create life now regardless of chromosomes, though people without organic wombs need to have an artificial one implanted first. While Koyama’s always known that he wouldn’t have kids since unless he moved off-planet, that hasn’t stopped him from wanting to.

In the meantime, society runs a little differently now that there’s a shelf life. Standard education has all but disappeared on Earth, leaving the few children left to be raised with studies and trade skills relevant to survival in outer space. Almost all of them are placed onto space stations or moon colonies upon graduation, which makes Koyama incredibly jealous. If only he’d been born later...

...but then he might not have met Shige. Everything happens for a reason, he supposes.

At any rate, his generation and the next (last) one have been biding their time preserving what history they can, transferring any and all information from analog to digital to upload to servers that will disperse it amongst the solar system. The only other jobs left are ones that sustain life, as everyone in technology and science have already left.

Koyama’s one of the preservers, using his now-obsolete literature degree to edit books and other forms of written words before sending them off. It’s tedious and boring, but it pays the bills and affords him enough free time to do everything he wanted to do before he can’t anymore.

Apparently, what he wants to do is laze around and watch anime. In his defense, it’s not safe to be outside anymore, at least any longer than it takes to get from one place to another. The government provides filtered masks to breathe the nitrogen-heavy air, but there are still the UV rays to worry about. Being in the sun too long can literally melt human skin.

The weather is so hot too, ranging from summer to boiling summer. Places on the equator like Brazil and Singapore are already void of life. Many species have died out all over the world, and there haven’t been any plants for years. Bees went extinct the year Shige was born. Water has been rationed since it became unsafe to drink last century.

Okay, maybe it _is_ as depressing as it sounds. But Koyama is a positive person, or at least he likes to think he is, so he doesn’t let himself fall victim to the hopelessness and despair that everyone around him seems to be feeling. Including Shige, who covers it up by writing fictional universes that _aren_ _’_ _t_ apocalyptic to give people a brief reprieve from everyday life.

Right now Shige’s curled up next to him, though. He’s not as big on anime as Koyama is, but he’s happy to lose himself in a world that he doesn’t have to create himself for a little while. There aren’t many people making media on Earth anymore, just those who can’t do anything more productive for the migration, but both Koyama and Shige find comfort in watching a series they’ve already seen for the fifth or fifteenth time. There aren’t any surprises when you already know what happens.

It’s times like these that Koyama misses his cat. Pets aren’t considered essential on Earth, not to mention it’s not safe for them to be outside at all, so once his beloved Nyanta passed from old age there was no replacing him. While Shige’s happy to curl up in Koyama’s lap and be petted, it’s not the same. Shige doesn’t purr, for one thing, and even though his hair has gotten long it’s not as soft as fur.

That’s the exact position they’re in when Koyama gets the call. He taps the tiny metal disc affixed behind his ear and a hologram appears in front of him. Ordinarily, it would tell him who was calling and from what human identification number, but all that flashes is UNDISCLOSED.

He answers it anyway. A person in a military uniform fills out the hologram, and Koyama sits as straight as he can with a grown man in his lap.

“Keiichiro Koyama?”

“Yes, hello, this is Koyama.”

“This is Admiral Khatri of the I.S.S. Tiyaga. I am pleased to inform you that you have been approved to join the Ganymede colony as a professor of language and literature. Will you accept the position?”

Koyama’s heart drops to his stomach. “Can I think about it?”

“Unfortunately, we need an answer right now. Your name was given to us because you are fluent in universal sign language as well as several spoken languages, and for some unknown reason children are being born Deaf on Ganymede. They will need a teacher who can communicate with them.”

“Oh...” Koyama trails off, looking down at the face who’s staring up at him with an indescribable expression. “Can I bring someone with me?”

Shige’s eyes widen at the same time Admiral Khatri clears their throat.

“There was no mention of a partner in your file,” they say pointedly. “We are only interested in transferring individuals at this time.”

“He’ll go,” Shige calls out, lifting his head from Koyama’s lap so suddenly that both Koyama and Admiral Khatri jump. “When does he ship out?”

“Shige, wait—”

“Tomorrow, eight A.M. We’ll send a car to pick you up at seven-thirty.”

“I didn’t say I was going to—”

“Mr. Koyama, in my twenty years of recruiting I have never once had someone turn down an offer like this. Earth is dying. Do you really want to die with it?”

“I’m going to die anyway...” Koyama trails off, forcing down the lump in his throat. He’s _not_ going to cry while on a call with a high-ranked government official. He’s _not_.

“He’s being ridiculous,” Shige speaks up, shoving Koyama enough to shake the hologram. “He loves kids. Of course he accepts.”

“But Shige—”

“I need to hear it from him,” Admiral Khatri tells them. “Keiichiro Koyama, do you accept this teaching post at the Ganymede colony?”

Koyama’s eyes drift over to Shige, who’s giving him the sternest look he’s ever seen on that one’s face. A look that says if he turns down this opportunity, Shige won’t forgive him.

“I accept,” he says in a small voice.

“Wonderful. Please pack two suitcases and a shoulder bag with whatever you want to bring. I’ve sent a list of what’s not allowed to your number. If you have any questions, there’s a service center you can call—”

“I want a cat,” Koyama blurts out.

“Come again?”

“A cat. A kitten. I know they’re allowed in the new colonies and I know you have them on the stations. If I have to give up my most important person for the future of humanity, I require a pet to keep me company.”

Admiral Khatri stares at him for a few very long seconds, then types something that Koyama can’t see.

“Very well, then. I’ve assigned a feline companion to you upon arrival on the Tiyaga.”

“Thank you.”

“Enjoy your last night on Earth, Mr. Koyama. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon when you dock.”

The hologram disappears and Koyama looks helplessly at Shige. _Now_ he’s going to cry.

“Oh, Kei,” Shige says gently as he accepts someone who is larger than he is in his arms. “This was inevitable, wasn’t it? You’ve wanted to leave since we were kids.”

“I hoped you would decide to come with me,” Koyama admits through his sniffles.

“You know I wouldn’t, even if they let you bring me along. There’s no life for me out there. I belong here, even if it means going up in flames before my time.”

“I don’t understand you,” Koyama says for the millionth time.

“You don’t have to,” Shige replies yet again.

Koyama clings to Shige and presses his face in Shige’s shoulder, letting out his sadness and rage in wretched sobs. It’s so unfair that this is the way it is, so cruel that they have to part after so long to live their lives in their own ways. But Shige’s right—it was inevitable. Somewhere in the back of Koyama’s mind, he always knew this would be the outcome should he ever get the call that he just did.

“So, Mr. Koyama,” Shige teases, trying to lighten the mood. “What do you want to do with your last night on Earth?”

“I just want to be with you,” Koyama answers without thinking, and Shige hugs him tighter. “One last time, so I can take the memory with me into the future.”

“You say that like you don’t already have twenty years’ worth of memories with me.”

“I don’t have any like _this_ ,” Koyama protests, and he must sound pitiful enough that Shige doesn’t want to argue anymore. “I’m never going to see you again, Shige. I’ll never _touch_ you again...”

Shige makes a faint noise as Koyama’s hands loosen on his waist, fingers slipping under his shirt to feel his skin. It’s far too hot for sex, but Koyama doesn’t need that to feel close to Shige. He pulls back enough to slide their mouths together, a kiss so natural and familiar that it’s like breathing air—filtered air, that is.

Koyama cherishes every press of Shige’s hands on his body, engraves them to his soul so he can remember it during the six-month journey to Jupiter’s largest moon and every day thereafter. He wants to be ninety years old and clearly relive this moment even if he’s already lost his mind, feeling the phantom fingers tracing paths all over his skin like the real ones are doing now.

“Are you going to cry the whole night?” Shige asks, only a little patronizing as he wipes Koyama’s tears with the pad of his thumb. Another imprint.

“Probably.”

“I’m going to miss you too, you know.”

“You better.”

“But Kei...” Shige’s face turns serious as they lie together in their bed, limbs entangled as much as possible. “I want you to have the family you always wanted, okay? Find someone to make babies with and carry on your genes like we couldn’t do here.”

“I’ll never meet anyone like you.”

“Maybe not, but I bet there’s someone just as good for you as I am. The universe is far too big to only destine one person to another. Fate is taking you to Ganymede, so another end of your red thread has to be there.”

“You don’t believe in fate,” Koyama chides.

Shige sighs. “Let me have my logic, please? This is hard for me too.”

Instead of speaking, Koyama kisses him again and doesn’t come up for air, not even when his body is begging him to sleep. He has six months to sleep.

“Let’s dream together,” Shige says when Koyama’s too tired to move his lips anymore. “One last time, we can hold each other while we go on impossible adventures in our own minds.”

“I’d rather be awake,” Koyama whines. “I don’t usually dream about you.”

“Maybe you will after tonight.”

Koyama feels like crying again, but he falls asleep instead. Morning comes too soon, his automatic scheduler waking him up at six so he can shower and pack, and before he knows it the driver has arrived and he has to actually say the goodbye he’s been putting off this entire time.

“Make it all worth it,” Shige tells him, then hugs him so tight that his ribs may carry the memory too.

Once in the car, he faces forward and doesn’t look back. Shige won’t stand outside and wave after him anyway. It would be a waste of an air filter.

The shuttle up to the I.S.S. Tiyaga is terrifying enough to distract him from his sadness, though it just hits all over again when he’s escorted to the ship that’s going to transport him to the outer planets.

His home for the next six months is a travel suite the size of his whole apartment with a full kitchen and complimentary grocery allowance. There's also a dome of cat supplies, magnetically enforced to stay still during times of anti-gravity, and Koyama smiles for the first time in several hours.

Then he hears the tiny mewl coming from under the bed, where a fluffy white kitten with brown splotches peeks up at him.

“Hello, precious,” he coos, dropping to his knees and holding out his hands for the kitten to sniff. “Are you going to be my new best friend?”

As if answering him, the kitten crawls into his hands and immediately rolls into its back, giving him the opportunity to see that she’s a female. He spreads out onto his own back and lets her curl up on his chest, rising and falling with each breath as she purrs along with his heartbeat.

“I will call you Milk, because you look like milk tea,” he decides, and she paws at the hand that lifts to pet her.

He stares up at the ceiling as the ship leaves the space station behind, taking him to the next stage of his life. He thinks about Shige and everything he’s leaving behind to make this journey, allowing himself one last wave of tears before facing forward in more ways than one.

From now on, Shige will just be one of the many stars he sees in the sky.


End file.
